I feel like my days are spinning out of control. There’s too much on my todo list, not enough hours in the day, and certainly not enough oomph in my battery to get them all done. Yes, I signed up for way too much, my regular curse.
What’s really draining rn is the remodel. Idk if I mentioned earlier – we finally got to seriously talking about and considering the remodel. The roof catalysed the decision, parts of it blew away in the storms earlier this year. It’s either replace the roof for 20K or add it to the constantly discussed remodel. We went with the remodel. The contractor is engaged, the architect is making plans, and today we discovered our ideal plan will require the construction to be labeled new (tax implications) and the roof to change which will bump up the cost, by how much – idk
My first reaction is to shut it down. Reaction 2 is slower to surface and hang in there : why not use the money we have earned to benefit our space? DS and DD show no signs of wanting to get married and have a family. So the question of leaving moolah for future generations is moot. DS’s fascination with V’s kids always has me wondering if my hard earned money will go to them, I won’t have the energy in the afterlife to claw it back. But I’m worried about charging ahead. The what ifs abound. What if my job disappears? What if DH’s does? DH keeps having issues with his managers, and they are petty ones. His response is to double down, tighten up, work harder while making no changes to his behaviour – which admittedly would be hard to do. What would I prefer that he do? Be Gentle. He’s become very abrupt over the past few years, I can see how that would be hard for his team/managers to work with. Otoh, his manager is being a dick. Petty ass fool 
My Reality 