Archive for October, 2014


Hah, should be 10/28/2014.  Day 1 post got swallowed.  Day 3 post put off until I forgot.  New rule : write as soon as I remember and have a machine handy, no pushing off until later.

Continuing from my previous post : what would I put in my empty bucket?  I had meditation, yoga, dance, music, learning.  Exercise – nix, nix, but it is good for me.  Work has to be in there, I don’t have the serenity to let go of that security blanket.  I am so conflicted about Puja, so conflicted about reciting slokas.  Scratching that surface – I love Bhagavan’s Aksharamanamalai, siva puranam, arunachala pancharatnam, upadesa undiyar, vinayakar agaval, kandar anubhuti esp those parts that point to the self.  They all are in tamil, not that I understand all the tamil, but there is certainly more comprehension.  They all point inwards.  So is my problem with incomprehension of LS or LT or DK?  If yes, that’s easily remedied.  Or is the problem with chanting the names?  I don’t know.  Also is my problem with puja or the chanting?  I think it is the latter.  So action plan – start with absorbing the meaning.  Starting with LS as I’ve known that stotram the longest.


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Shoot!  I lost my post from yesterday.  Here I am trying to get a 40 day practice going and I’ve already lost my first post 😦  What did I say?  Serves me right if I don’t show up for a zillion years and find things rearranged on this site.  Another side-effect – I have no idea what the previous post was about.  What changed that upset me so?  I went to a TMK concert on Sunday.  Still envious of his voice.  Still wondering if he considers what we all think a blessing as one.  Where did DS learn about naadanama kriya?  Where does DS’ friend AK have the time to get lyrics of carnatic music songs, understand the meaning and then ask why one word was substituted for another.  And really, is there an ulterior motive to this pursuit?!  I am not just judging self and children, now have expanded to friends of children.

Here’s something to be joyful for – meditation 3 days in a row!

I asked Bhagavan if I should ask JV teacher to take me on as a student.  Actually begged him to say yes.  And he did.  Now I’m wondering how to add this.  And opportunely, I get LB’s email talking about emptying the container and stocking it up with only what you want to be doing.  So let’s see – medidation, yoga, dance, music, learning.  Note neither work nor puja is on this list 😥  Puja does not resonate, but Babaji scoffed when I said I think it is falling away.

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