Archive for February, 2010

What’s FUN for me?

I’m in the month of May in Gretchen Rubin’s book and her resolution for the month is having FUN.  So she’s trying to find what’s fun for her and that got me thinking – what is fun for me?  I can’t think of anything!!!  Or I have to work really hard to find what is fun for me.  Gretchen has her children’s literature, and she says she loves didactic chi-lit, my turn-off 😦  So what’s fun for me?  Reading has always been fun, but not so much lately.  My taste in books is undergoing a big change, so what was fun is no longer so.  I don’t know that I’ll like romance novels for much longer, but let’s make a list that’s true for now:

* Good romance novels
* Beaches
* Spanish lessons


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Dream #1

As I said earlier, since 2008/9, I’ve had some incredibly real dreams that I feel are clues to my personality and perhaps advice.  This is the very first distinct dream I can remember.    All of us are on vacation and are in a beachy area.  We are in a beachfront cottage and it’s a beautiful clear morning.  I’m by myself and look out the window and see a guy vault over the white picket fence and go down to the ocean.  In just a few minutes, I see him floating away on his back and it is an incredibly peaceful sight.  The sky is cloudless, there is no wind and the ocean is an incredible vivid blue.  Everyone gets up and I can’t wait until they finish breakfast and I send them off to do their own thing.  Then I rush to the fence to climb over to get to the water.  And that’s where I see that it’s a rather steep slope stretching down to a narrow ledge.  I can’t see past the ledge.  I’m wondering should I go down or not and I see a couple, a young man and woman, do the same as the first guy, blithely jump over the fence, scramble down, go past the ledge and get to the water.  Now I’m thinking I can do this and I climb over the fence and land on the other side.  I slip and slide my way down and find it’s not particularly easy.  But I’m inspired by the peacefully swimming first guyand so push further.  I scrape myself some and get to the ledge and look past down.  This is even worse, it’s very steep and looks almost vertical and the ground is sandy/pebbly.  I stand there wondering what to do, by this time the beach becomes deserted, both the first guy and the couple are gone.  I think to myself, this is too dangerous and if I fall, there’s no one to ask for help either.  So I decide to go back up.  Only, this is also equally tough and now I’m stuck half way up to the fence.  I try to see if anyone comes by so I can ask them for help and finally one woman shows up.  She’s bundled almost like a Japanese woman and hears me call out to her and says she’ll help me.  She walks in little mincing steps to the fence, looks down and then shakes her head no.  I say why not, and she says she has vertigo and can’t look down.  Now I’m stuck in the middle and can’t get back to where I started from or go to where I want to go.  At this point, I wake up.

Sounds familiar – I see someone take a path that appears easy and leads to idyll.  I get very excited and follow them only to find this is pretty hard for me.  Now I want to get back to where I was, but can’t get back there either.  Even those who appear like they’ll be able to help end up not being able to in the end.  Here’s a curious thing – I keep thinking of the lady in the Japanese clothes as Jayashree mami.  Now why is that?

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Here’s what I believe about dreams at this moment – Sleep nourishes the soul.  When the body sleeps, the mind sinks (loses the I consciousness?) and merges with the soul.  The soul is connected to that which I cannot define.  I’m going to call it the source.  Depending on your receptivity, you can communicate with this eternal source asking questions, receiving answers that can either be clear as day or require you to ponder the meaning.  Since the source is eternal, you are connected to the past, present and future, plus you are connected to every atman, regardless of time.  Again, I have Usha to thank for helping me think about dreams.  Between 2008-2009, I’ve had a few incredibly clear dreams.  I’m going to write these down for future reference.  Tagged with Dreams.

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Note to Ramit : Dude, your site leaves me feeling lost!!  You are the only PF site I visit, so it’s close to medicinal, but seriously, lost!!  I picked one of your all time favorite posts to read today – http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/why-your-friends-dont-save-money-eat-healthier-or-clean-their-garages/ or http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2009/03/17/the-psychology-of-passive-barriers-why-your-friends-dont-save-money-eat-healthier-or-clean-their-garages/.  Yep, Yep.  Really buy into the passive barrier theory and so following your exhortation, my 10 things I would do if I were perfect:

1. Understand my personal finances

2. Call all the old people

3. Practice kathak

4. Be an adventurous cook

5. Not nag my kids

6. Have a more active social life

7.  Take vacations to landmarks

8.  Keep a Clean house

9.  Be a size 6 with no hanging tummy

10.  Have a beautiful yard.

Hmm,  this was actually hard to do.  I got up to #6, and then had to really look hard for more.  Does that mean I consider myself near-perfect!!! or I’m having a mental block regarding perfection behaviours?  Likely the latter.  Hmm.  Need to do the 5 whys for each of these.

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even if  it is someone you don’t want to know – Joan Didion’s sublime essay on why to keep a notebook.  http://dl.dropbox.com/u/324334/didion.pdf

I love you, Joan.  In my daydreams, I write like you, so clear, so economical and direct and absolutely the perfect word choice.  

I was reading The Happiness Project (Gretchen Rubin, one of my primary vibrant lifer conduits) and have gotten to March where she plans to Aim Higher and starts a blog.  One of her resolutions was to write M-Sat and take Sunday off.  That’s when I remembered I had gone awol from my blog.  And here’s where the universe synchronocity kicks in.  I was decluttering (hugs to FlyLady, I’m trying!) and looking for a notebook to write my scratch paper recipes down in.  I found a notebook that had one diary entry in it.  I must have written the note just after I read the Notebook essay for the first time.  It’s dated May 15, 2009.  And I remembered I had resolved to write every day 🙂  I love me, I always have such high-faluting aspirations.  And the contents of the note reminded me why I should write every day.  It was conversations with DD, they are so droll and fill my heart with so much love and happiness.

 How do you churn an ocean (Alakala visham story)?  Well, you’ll need a really big spoon!! 

Who’s Goose Lee (Bruce Lee)? 

I don’t want to watch Saving Pirate Man (Saving Private Ryan)

Me: Swathi, Is there a Ni in Mohana?
S : No
Me: (Ah, the genius reveals itself!) Is there a Ma in Mohana?
S : No, Only a Mo.

At school with Mr. Morris: Why does the moon wax and wane?  Once upon a time, Ganesha was riding on a mouse… 

Chandru called her “Source of Joy”, so incredibly appropriate.  DS was asking who wrote the namavali and the Hanuman Chalisa.  She says she loved to listen to it in the morning.

Incredible story of the day: Cow runs away from slaughterhouse to escape slaughter!!

With the universe using GR and JD to prompt me, I’m getting back to my marvelous blog.

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