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Archive for May, 2011

Well, not really at present, but I’ve been meaning to note this down.  I can’t understand my choice making when it comes to choosing to watch a movie that I’ve already seen.  Over the last week, I’ve had many opportunities to see District 9 again – one of the absolute best movies I’ve seen, ever.  I keep skipping over to see something else, less demanding on the brain, I think.  These are the movies I watch without fail – Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve got mail, Kate and Leopold, Pride and Prejudice, the Bourne movies, Spider Man – so it seems very specific RomComs and action movies.  The rest, whether I love or loathe them, I keep away.

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Only 3 posts in May.  There it is in black and white.  Why don’t I write anymore?  I absolutely love to read the old posts.  This is one habit I don’t want to fall off. 

This dialogue is about ABDC – America’s best dance crew.  This is the first time I’ve watched the season from almost the beginning.  I missed the season premiere.  I love the show.  There’s this group Imme – they are just completely awesome.  They did a spiderman routine a couple of weeks ago and it was SO fantastic.  The girl (read it and weep – 15 years old!) did this surfing on bodies – brain’s banged!  I missed last Thursday and am watching that episode.  Imme is fantastic again.  Then there’s Phunk Phenomenon – love that team too.  The tricks, the upper body strength, too much!  There was a group called 787 Crew – fantastic footwork, but they were eliminated early on.  Instant Noodles was a Taiwanese group – I thought they were a fun group and they were eliminated last week.   And then there was a pole dancing crew and a group of New Zealanders, early exits.  The group I think was robbed was 787 Crew and then Instant Noodles.  I haven’t mentioned 2 groups Street Kingdom and Iconic Boys.  SK is a Krump group and for the life of me, I don’t see anything attractive in their dance style.  One of the group is supposed to be the inventor of Krump.  He’s got great muscle definition and that’s the only thing I can say.  Their dance style leaves me put off and repelled.  I remember one thing they did as an ET with the guy having his shirt over his head and tongue sticking out.  Blech!  And the judge said it was the best thing he’d ever seen.  Yep.  With tears and all!  So wanted to reach in and smack some sense.  They kept landing in the bottom two and the judges kept rescuing them or giving them these wild reviews.  The other group the judges are inordinately fond of is Iconic Boyz.  They’re a bunch of kids, I think the oldest is 12 and they have some good points/  They dance well, are very cute – there’s one, I think he’s one of the older ones, he’s got such a kind beautiful face, and moves well too.  The first one I saw with them, I think it was the Keasha episode, they were phenomenal.  And it was all downhill from there.  The judges keep saying they’re good (though not as gag inducingly as they praise SK), but America keeps voting them through.  They have not been in an elimination this season.  PP is at least 10 times better than IB.  Imho, 787 crew and Instant Noodles is also better than IB, but hey, C’est la vie.  Whom do I hope will win? – IMMe!!

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So I’ve been going through this self-flagellation w.r.to work.  All the signposts have been swept away (projects scuttled or in wait mode), deadlines for accomplishment gone (no performance-based bonuses) and so it’s a vacuum.  I’d been telling myself I want to stop running around so much, I want to be still, etc. etc. I was able to beat all of these back but the one that’s been a thorny spur is – I’m being dishonest taking all this money, but not producing anything of value in return.  When I write it, it seems obvious, go and make something.  But I guess I was too busy feeling guilty and sorry for myself that my cushy corner suddenly was bare.  After a few weeks I finally came to a conclusion – I can’t quit now, so my alternative is to produce something of value every day I’m at WR.  No more surfsink, eating and talking, it’s going to be productive, each day.  I make this call and then Seth’s column: Self directed effort is the best kind (http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2011/05/self-directed-effort.html).  What do you do when no one’s looking.  I can’t find it right now, but there was a similar gong from another source reinforcing the validity of the plan.  There’s my ysworld in action!

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I’ve decided I’m not going to weigh myself everyday.  Not sure if this is a good decision.  So last ekadasi I decided to fast ( i drink tea, eat a bit of fruit, that’s it.  And at the end of the day, I realized though I’d thought about food a million times, I wasn’t in fact actually hungry.  And so, I said I’d only eat when I was feeling hungry (Needed to take a popsicle break there).  Day 2 goes by, Day 3 goes by.  I now remember, the ekadasi was a thursday.  Day 3, I go to Mount Madonna, then to dance class.  Still no hunger.  Day 4, we went to El Amigo.  I had a small piece of a burrito, still no hunger.  The weight was down to 134 lbs.  So thrilled.  Day 5, I finally was hungry.  And then hungrier, and then even more hungrier until I’m back to eating and thinking of food constantly.  Mainly, unable to let the knowledge that hunger is just a thought influence my action.  And then I realized, the peak was when I checked my weight when it was 134.   It’s been downhill since.  Hence – the only once a week weight check.  Let’s see.

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It’s been a while.  I’ve grown distant from all my daily and other rituals.  I don’t read the Happiness Project, Beyond Blue, Zen Habits(!! – this is so surprising and sad), AONC.  The only thing that’s still stuck is Cute Overload and thxthxthx.  Who woulda thunk it?!  I noticed this Sunday that I hadn’t read the Thought for the day or the moment of truth in my inbox for a while.  I haven’t written in my journal nor do I read SB in the am with my tea.  Doing the dishes was dropping off.  Reboot this morning.  Tonight the sink is clean, here’s my daily dialogue.  I’m set for success tomorrow.  Let’s see.

I can’t believe I missed Adya in May.  3 chances! 

Since the last time I wrote, the Prez ordered a strike to take out bin Laden.  Let me just say I’m so proud of my President.  The incredible guts in ordering the strike, keeping it so tightly under wraps, the tension as a palpable presence in the photograph during the strike, the speech after, the quick burial at sea, the crowning glory – the refusal to release the photographs of the dead man – It’s such a progression of right decisions amidst enormous pressure.  And the complete dignity during the process – gosh, this is going to be the how-to on conducting yourself in the future.  Much wishes for grace for him.

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