Archive for October, 2010

And worse, when you cannot fathom their decision making process. This am DD gets up, showers and then sits, just sits instead of practicing music. She could have spent the time in bed, but no. Up and no action. Worse, I felt like a louse not being loving when we could have had a great hugfilled time. So not only do you have to be the enforcer, you also have to feel guilty about the enforcing. I told her if she wouldn’t listen to me on this practicing, then I wouldn’t be saying anything more to her. And I spent the next hour trying to talk myself off my horse. I didn’t, but still, was it the right thing to do? Is that how Tom DeLay felt when he signed on to the losing side in the brain dead woman case, but wouldn’t let go? Where’s the line between courage of conviction and orneriness?
And then DS gets up. He has school this evening and SAT this Saturday. Also music practice for show on Oct 23. What’s his top priority? Attending the practice. He’s seriously considering going late to class so that he can make it to the practice!! His supporting argument – what if something happens there?! And I need to drive him to Sunnyvale, his dad needs to pick him up there, take to school and then bring back later at 9. So I’m standing there saying I don’t want to drive to Sunnyvale and he should skip the practice because he has school and SAT and he goes “Oh No!” I almost entered Flip city and quickly got out of there. What does “Oh No” mean? But all ended well, I guess. He wrote saying he’d skip the first practice. So was it what he decided for himself or was it my palpable disapproval?
And then it was DH’s turn – have you made brown rice? What did you add to the white rice? Urk, It will hurt my stomach. Maybe I should eat out. And he finally left with the prepared lunch and grapes.
I feel like a roughly played violin, all jangled up, and trying to reharmonize.


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Fix the criticism

I came back from work today and turned on the tv. Oprah had on Teri Hatcher, Cybil Shepard and Linda Evans, in order of seniority, I guess. The topic was growing older with grace. LE had had plastic surgery when she was in her 50’s and Oprah asked her how she felt looking into her face after surgery. Did it look that much different – kind of a beautifully open ended question that you could interpret in 10 different ways. LE’s answer was beautiful – Nothing changes much (after surgery), but it fixes the parts you were critical about. And there’s the fault. You don’t fix the parts, you fix the criticism.
Thank you, Linda!!

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I saw both the Daily show and Colbert report today and both of them had guests promoting the movie “Social Network” about Facebook. First Justing Timberlake comes on the Daily Show and he says he’s clueless about Facebook. JS says him too. I don’t know, could that really be true? And then Aaron Sorkin comes on CR. He says he doesn’t have a fb account, he doesn’t have much to share with the world. And then he says : “Social network has as much to do with socializing as reality tv has to do with reality”. The audience sort of sucked their breath in. But how beautifully put. He also said something that I’ve long felt, but never knew how to put in words – folks who post about their daily actions – I had a cupcake, so I’ll have to go to the gym to work it off – kind of stuff, are trying to remake themselves. This posing or the possibility of posing is the very thing I find offputting about such venues. When DH started reading my blog, I found myself editing for another’s eyes, which takes the honesty out of it. It would be true on a much larger scale with social networking apps. Thank you, Aaron Sorkin, for that beautiful line!!

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